When I look at the news, check my social media accounts or have passing conversations with strangers, I am often left with feelings of anger, fear and hopelessness. The reason for this response is that so much conversation is about how our world, country, state or city is a terrible place to live.

I have had this discussion several times in the past year, but truly believe that we live in the greatest time to be alive. In five hundred years, I am confident that school children will learn about how primitive we were in some ways, such as how we struggled to treat people with equal kindness. However, I also believe they will identify this period on a timeline as a point where the human race made exponential changes, for the better. We live in an amazing and extraordinary time. I think about this each day, wondering what part I can be in leveraging these changes to support and empower others.

You do not have to share this perspective of mine. In some of the discussions I have had, I realize that I am likely in the minority by holding this perception. I definitely have friends that believe we are in a dramatic decline and live in the worst time to be alive. Like I said, these conversations make me sad. When you have that perspective it can be really difficult to find happiness.

I just shared my macro observation about our current status and place in history. Where I personally struggle is finding the joy and happiness in the day to day realities that we all face. These things include: work tasks, daily chores, regular upkeep of a house and all the other daily requirements we have. It can be easy to fall into a trap where these things become just items to get done. When any of those items start to create problems in my day, I can lose perspective quickly.

The strategy that I have worked on to find more happiness, is a daily expression of gratitude. When you first start to express gratitude on a daily basis, it is easy to find things you are thankful for. Then at some point, after you’ve been thankful for your family for the sixth day in a row, you realize that it might be useful to identify other things that are a blessing in your life.

You begin to notice smaller things in life, that often go unnoticed, yet are blessings and bring you happiness.

I have an example of a blessing the past several weeks that fits this scenario. I have been in Custer, South Dakota the past couple weeks, for the Sundance to Spearfish and Crazy Horse Marathons. When I first arrived, without wifi access readily available, I began searching for a solution. There were only a couple options. One of those options was Calamity Jane Winery and Coffee Shop. I have used their wifi and consumed their house coffee since discovering the shop.

A person could easily overlook the blessing that this has been. However, Custer is primarily a tourist driven town and many shops are starting to close. Some of those shops have been put up for sale. Therefore, I am extremely thankful that Jim (the shop’s owner) has chosen to stay open. The second thing that I am thankful for, is the hospitality that Jim and his wife has shown. While it would be a big enough blessing to have access to the wifi and coffee, they have made me feel welcomed to their small town. They were genuinely interested in the things I was up to, why I was around town for six weeks and shared suggestions for things to do. This lead a decision to attend the Buffalo Roundup, one of the best experiences of my trip.

The point in sharing this story is to recognize that it would be easy to view Calamity Jane Winery as just another coffee shop. It has been more than that, it has been a blessing. In fact, approximately 25 percent of the Happier and Healthier You program has been written while sitting in their shop.

When you develop a habit of expressing gratitude over the smaller things, it makes uncovering your happiness much simpler. When you find satisfaction in the tasks and experiences you encounter everyday, it is difficult to live with fear, hate and hopelessness.

Express gratitude and uncover your happiness

I sat in the coffee shop on a Sunday afternoon hacking away on a client’s project. I received a text message that was a little cryptic,

Anxiously and with hesitation, I said “sure”. What followed was one of the more kind and uplifting things someone has said to me within the past year.

We sat at the stop light and the tension was heavy. After arguing most the of the car ride, I yelled out something that should not have been said. It was said in frustration, with anger and with the intention to cause pain. That pain was hidden and never dissipated.

These are just two experiences that have lead me to start using a phrase repeatedly,

I say it a lot. I encourage others that I have influence on to consider it. But I primarily want to embed this truth into my own consciousness and behaviors.

I have always understood that words were important. I remember sitting down and writing a lengthy letter to my parents listing all the reasons why I should not move away from Broken Bow, Nebraska during my junior year. It was the first example where I saw that words had power.

My struggle for many years was figuring out how to use my voice to share positive words that mattered.

Words matter and the power of moments can change an individual’s life.

As I ran across the finish line of the 1999 Lincoln Marathon, I was devastrated and proud at the same moment. I was tired yet energized. I had more joy than I had experienced in months, but wanted to cry. Little did I know, that moment would shape my professional and social life for the next twenty years.

I have been reading the book, The Power of Moments by Chip and Dan Heath, learning about the characteristics of a powerful moment. Moments that have the potential of becoming peak experiences have these four characteristics:

1. Some elevation of sensory pleasures or surprise.
2. Provide insight and rewire the idea of ourselves.
3. Create pride through acts of courage and achievement.
4. Provide connection with others and social satisfaction.

As I have been molding all these lessons into knowledge and cross referencing my experience, I have come to the following conclusion:

When you match the right words with the right moment, you can create memories that are unforgettable. This is important as our memories are a string of loosely tied together moments, opposed to a true recording of everything that happened.

The following is just an outline of thoughts I have had on this topic.

: this powerful experience can create both good and bad memories, so it is as critical to understand how to avoid the bad as it is to create the positive.

: due to Brene Brown, I have spent a lot of time practicing how to be more vulnerable over the past few years. It has greatly impacted my ability to share with others positive words of affirmation. I often feel exposed and vulnerable when voicing affection or even praise for others. This has been a recurring topic in therapy.

Some words you can not take back, therefore; think before you speak:

 I remember stupid things I have said out of anxiety, anger and pride. The people I said them to often remember also. Even when there is forgiveness, the scares often remain.

Praise is a better teaching tool than criticism:

 Do you remember a teacher who provided praise, then suggestions on how to improve. How about a teacher who started with the criticism and expectations? Who inspired you? I am my own worst critic, as are most people their own. I am learning to lead with praise.

 The surprise of a positive message. The adventure of an unplanned experience. Those are the types of words and moments that have the opportunity to create something significant. When it feels manufactured, it doesn’t really work. In The Power of Moments, they share the “Employee of the Month” example. The winner of the award rarely feels special.

 it becomes very difficult to create impactful moments when things become routine. Find ways to challenge yourself. Ideally, find others to join you on those adventures.

 the book talked about one reason that time seems to speed up as we age is due to the fact that novelty becomes less commonplace. We have less moments. This aligns with the last note, do not let your age decrease your ability or desire to seek adventure.

 I find it easy to give complements in those moments that are socially expected. This happens after races, major accomplishments, etc. I have begun to practice giving praise for things that do not often receive it. It honestly feels difficult at this point, but I am working on it.

 there was a period (and I still hear it), where people talked a lot about being candid in their communication. It was often a signal that someone was about to be an asshole. I know of this well! I regularly masked my ego and jerkness in the blanket of ‘being honest’.

I have been trying to figure out what 2019 is going to be for me. The last few years have been very random, but in directed ways. For example, I never thought I would have created a software development company. However, I was focused on becoming better at the technical side of product development and working with high quality people. It just so happened Ventre Tech was born.

In that spirit, I plan to set my sails in the following directions:

Creating some goal around a habit associated with gratitude, specifically expressing that gratitude.

I’ve become plenty vulnerable with my feelings and emotions, but I need to continue practicing praise.

Ultimately, I’d like to have at least 10 powerful moments in 2019. As I think back on 2018, I can think of 6 or 7 moments, most are positive with one being negative. When I think about those moments, I image two of them will remain lasting peak experiences and memories. One of the positive moments and the negative moment. The elements they both have in common are words that stick, elevation of sensory, surprise and they lead to new personal insights.

Peak Experiences

I enjoy learning about new tools that can make my life easier, especially when it comes to developing a new web application. I enjoy programming. I love to solve problems that are encountered when building something new. However, I get a lot more enjoyment and satisfaction out of having a product I can share with people. The process of receiving that feedback and improving the product or application are the experiences I am seeking when I create something new.

That is why I appreciate tools that can decrease the time it takes to go from idea to working prototype. The most recent tool that I’ve been playing around with is RedwoodJS.

I heard a podcast interview with Tom Preston-Werner talking about RedwoodJS in the early days of the pandemic, but never had the time or project idea to try it out. Then in late 2020 I had an idea to create a ‘happiness and purpose’ tracker.

When I decided to try and build it with RedwoodJS, the first step I took was to go through the tutorial. Their tutorial series is excellent and I would recommend you try it out. Since that time they have added a second tutorial series.

Here are some highlights from that first project:

 I really enjoyed the concept of using ‘

‘ to help fetch data. I have never used this approach for fetching data in any of the other React or graphql applications that I have worked on. This design really helped clarify where data was being pulled in and how to get it to the appropriate components.

 I really dislike having to deal with authentication on applications. The 

 and the simple process Redwood gives you to make this happen, feels a little like magic.

 Again the ability to get something working quickly is a key selling point and being able to use the generators to get a basic CRUD feature built is a huge time-saver. It reminds me of all the things I loved about using Django, while allowing me to stay within the javascript world. The team working on RedwoodJS often share their love of Ruby on Rails and while I have only worked on one Rails project in the past, I see their inspiration.

 and discord is very helpful with a welcoming group of developers.

The dashboard of my first RedwoodJS project: DailyPulse

. Initially I ignored most of the setup and features associated with Prisma and allowed RedwoodJS to handle everything for me, however I have now run into several issues where having a better knowledge of Prisma would help.

different pieces of the migration requirements

, however I have run into a couple issues recently where the postgresql database, prisma schema and graphql interface get out of sync. As noted, I need to understand Prisma better, however how to appropriately handle changes to the schema and the resulting database changes is something I need more detailed knowledge.

 on my second test project and was not successful, so I stopped. I need to circle back and dig deeper into the issue. The second tutorial has now shown how to utilize storybook within a RedwoodJS project, so maybe that will make it easier.

 I love how quickly the generators allow you to get some CRUD features set-up, however it creates a lot of code. When you want to go back and change something, it can require a lot of searching to update code. I now weigh the benefit of having this speed to get something set up with the potential time cost to update later. In my second test project I really didn’t have a clear idea on what I wanted to create, therefore I’ve faced a lot more problems with code that was generated.

I really enjoy the RedwoodJS framework to get projects set up quickly. I like that it utilizes several of the technologies I already use. The framework is currently on version 0.32.2 and being progressively pushed forward. The upside is that the framework continues to get improved regularly. The downside is that there are some features and items they are still trying to workout. Additionally, the documentation is very good, but if you are looking for tutorial videos on youtube there won’t be as much as you may be used to finding.

My intro projects with RedwoodJS

Each of us had high expectations when we took off on our camping trip. Our plans included hiking a trail we used on a previous camping trip. The trail was less of a concern than the final setup and destination. As soon as we turned left off of the highway to drive down Tunnel Ridge Road, our plans ended. 

The road was closed. We improvised and went to Koomer Ridge Campground to act as our trailhead into the Red River Gorge. We soon found ourselves without daylight. That would not always be a concern, however, I was missing my headlamp. Additionally, there were no camping locations to be found.

We had loose plans. The main goals we had were to spend time hanging out, eating, and drinking. The first two spots we had pre-determined, but even the best-constructed plans can be derailed with rain and lost keys.

I have spent a lot of time contemplating the value and benefit of embracing randomness over the past eighteen months. A catalyst for this rumination is a response to meeting Thomas Cothran at Awesome Inc in August of 2016. Since that time we have been working hard to accomplish fun and interesting things together. The shortlist of challenges we are taking on include:

Building a software consultancy business focused on healthcare and law (Not simple markets to penetrate with innovation.)

Partner with other like-minded individuals to spin out products focused on the law, healthcare, and sports industries.

Mentor startup founders who need both product and technical advice.

All of these efforts are very focused. The time, money, and energy we put into each of these four areas are done with efficiency, productivity and impact on the top of our mind. We have spent a fair amount of cognitive power over these eighteen months establishing, refining and iterating on the processes we use to do our work.

The reason I am highlighting the efforts we put forth is to help explain the value that pure randomness has upon the outcomes we have observed. I would argue that even with the rigorous approach we have to our work, a good portion of our success can be attributed to luck. If the word “luck” is hard for people to accept, then I’d suggest, “random chance”.

I will circle back to the intersection of random chance and effort in a moment. 

First, let me acknowledge Nassim Taleb’s book “Fooled by Randomness”. I started listening to this book, for the third time, as I drove up I75 this afternoon. This book has always impressed on me the value of consistently evaluating your outcomes and being critical of your assessments. This is especially true if you start to attribute successes with specific actions.

It is easy to look back and find something to attribute your success to. The hours you spent doing sales calls. The years you spent in college developing an expertise. The networks you have made throughout your career. The decisions you made in your product specifications. If you are like me and tend to overly analyze the details, you are likely to also (like me) tie all the outcomes to those efforts.

This is when we become fooled by randomness. Or, I will simply say, this is where I am fooled by randomness.

As I have become more comfortable knowing that my actions are not as powerful as I thought they were and luck is just as responsible for my successes, I have become more accepting that I can not control the outcome of everything. This is a lesson that I wished I learned twenty years ago.

Armed with this mindset, I have the ability to embrace random events with a sense of excitement and adventure. These same events would have caused me great anxiety and frustration in the past.

Why routine is critical for me to happily accept randomness.

The words routine and randomness seem contradictory. However, I find having well-defined routines is essential for my ability to accept random chances with an open mind. Here’s a simple explanation of why:

I need the basic structures of my life to be maintained with the least amount of mental distress. This mental efficiency provides the space necessary for creativity, along with the extra mental and emotional costs associated with following random paths.

When I fail to cover the basics via routines, I spend too much brain power just getting through the day. The basics become exhausting, which means that randomness generates:

What are the basics I have offloaded to routine?

To provide a clear explanation of what I mean by this, here is a list. These have all been an evolving practice since around 2009. Some of these are a philosophical approach to life, others are environmental choices I have worked to establish.

Having a room dedicated to yoga, stretching, and meditation.

What I eat for breakfast, every single day.

Where I place my keys, wallet and sun glasses when I walk in the door.

My choice for type and location of housing.

Decision to not use debt as a financial instrument for anything. (clears up decisions around monetary routines )

What phone numbers I answer (short answer: none as a general rule)

This is a shortlist of items, as there are many routines that I have established that are subconscious operations today. I believe the list helps clarify the concept.

Why work hard, if randomness is so important.

The best answer I have for this is from the Stoic philosopher Seneca’s quote:

“Luck Is What Happens When Preparation Meets Opportunity”

While it’s not a great analogy, I equate being efficient and productive to buying a lottery ticket. The effort you put out is your currency to enter the Powerball. With that effort, you are still subject to the randomness of the lottery balls, but without it, you are simply watching the world pass you by.

It was dark and we were both somewhat concerned about finding a place to camp for the night. (Even if we were not vocal about those concerns.) We had hit the trail we were looking for, hoping it was a better option. At the moment, it was not producing anything of use. Then we heard some small voices coming from behind. I turned to see a couple of headlamps and a dog coming towards us.

Those hikers were able to lead the way to a new trail, a new camping location, and one of the best views in the Red River Gorge. A view I had never seen on any of my previous camping trips. Was it luck? I would say it was more than luck that night.

When randomness strikes and it leads to a positive outcome, it can be simple to be easy-going. What happens when situations arise that are not fun? Like losing your car keys?

I know when I had a mind that didn’t accept randomness, the one that had to control everything, the one that needed plans to work out, that person would have folded under the stress and become a negative and angry person.

In moments such as this, the number of starts and stops are so frequent that it doesn’t feel like randomness alone. It felt like a tilt-a-whirl at the county fair. There is hope, then you are jerked back from where you came. There is excitement, that is stolen. In the end, I was able to evaluate how I carried myself throughout it all. I hope it was with grace and kindness? I was also able to spend more time with someone, who I wanted to get to know better. This random event allowed me to see how she responded to a much more difficult reality than I faced. While not an ideal situation, it provided better than if everything would have went as planned.

Life can be difficult if you need complete control and for everything to go according to plan. Therefore, develop routines to put the basics on autopilot and remain open to the random blessings you will find along the way.

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